Racquet Mom

 I'm seated on my gray-cushioned outdoor loveseat. It's the first day of April, one made for fools like me and these three monkeys I call my baby boys. There is a steady breeze in the air. Green tree leaves swish and swash under the hum of the parkway behind the house. The cloud coverage indicates a storm is brewing. And so it seems, as we enter the "cruelest month", a storm is always brewing in our heart of hearts. It's a deep crevice buried inside, where love overflows but is trapped.   The boys are playing with foam swords and soccer balls, racing up and down the playscape slide. They are free to feel and roam and laugh. A dog barks nearby; a train rumbles in the distance. In Spring breezes, the boys continue to frolic and trample across the already trampled grass. They roar with thunderous energy. Their voices and cries are inherent parts of their being. "Look mama, a garbage truck," exclaims the youngest. In his charade of existence, in this backyar...

 It continues to astonish me how different all three of my sons' personalities are and how I can mostly predict how they will react in any given situation. My oldest, true to his birth order, is cautious and often most logical in his thinking. My middle son is adventurous, wild and free but not completely without fear. My youngest is a timid observer who only takes risks when there is a guaranteed reward. If I were to take all three boys to a water park, my first born would be happy to ride the slides after his middle brother gave it a test run. The youngest would be content splashing in the shallow end next to me all while watching his brothers play. When we go out for ice cream, my oldest takes his tried-and-true toppings while my middle son risks ruining his cold treat with a concoction of gummy frogs, Nerds and a pile of Maraschino cherries. And as long as my youngest doesn't have to share a shred of his own ice cream, he's a happy camper. I've been encouraging my b...

   The closer we get to something, or someone, the quicker (and I argue, the better) our reaction needs to be. This happens during volleying in tennis. The balls arrive quickly, and you need to react in order to keep the ball in play, let alone strike a winner. It's true for getting closer to people too. Feelings can arrive with a certain quickness the closer you get to someone. It can be unexpected, the pressure we feel when someone relies on us not unlike the pressure in tennis when that volley arrives near you.     We are quick to judge our family members and best friends yet often give complete strangers the benefit of the doubt. We are quick to react to our own kids' misbehavior yet more forgiving and slow to anger when it's other people's children. We struggle to be better spouses, siblings and parents but easily manage to take up the task of being the best at work or sport. We are closer physically and emotionally to our loved ones...yet that comfort and ...

  The holiday season is underway, and who doesn't love this time of year? Certainly, my three kids do.  Between the anticipation of decorating the tree to the arrival of Santa himself, my boys are overloaded with excitement. The next twenty days will surely fly by as they always do each December. I'm one of those people who starts holiday shopping in late summer and wrapping Christmas presents in early November. I'm always on the hunt for gifts that will make my family happy and surprised. There is something really remarkable about being a parent on Christmas morning. The best moments for me are putting thought into each gift and picturing how my recipient will feel once they open it. I like to predict exactly what my kids will say as they unwrap their presents. But what if there were a gift that was so indescribable it left the recipient without a spoken response? Have you ever received a gift that was this wonderful, that unexpectedly took your breath away?  Think of al...

Everyone knows that tennis is as much a physical game as it is a mental game. You need to focus your mental effort on strategy and placement and timing and movement, all while positioning and setting up the eventual (you hope) winning point. Concentration in tennis is as paramount as flour in a cake batter. Without concentration, you might miss the ball completely. It can be like that in life too.  Have you ever played the card game Concentration? My kids love this game of skill and memory, and it forces them to focus on both the little picture and the big picture. They have to take mental pictures and tap into their memories, often as you have to do in a tennis match. It's amazing how much our minds can remember! Sometimes so much time passes and memories fade. Other times, even the smallest details of memorable times in our lives are clearly painted in our minds. And even if we don't always recall the exact situation in detail, we still remember how we felt. When I was a chil...

The fear is real. It's raw. Parenting is becoming scarier and more challenging by the day. I have to think twice, or more, about going out. I have to reconsider attendance at public school, going to church, visiting a museum, shopping at stores. How do I protect my kids from all the terror in this world? I'm sure it's a question parents have asked since the beginning of time, but this generation seems different. Something has changed. I'm suspicious of the man at the end of the grocery store aisle on his cell phone. Is he a kidnapper scheming to swipe my child when I let my guard down? Do I say hello to the fellow walking at the park? How close do I let people get to my children before I begin to worry? What about the teenager walking to school who always has his head down? Who do I trust outside my circle of friends?  One wrong move and it will be my own fault for being naive. I don't feel safe, but I can't let on that I am afraid. I've become almost parano...